3 Tips To Pushing Past the Lie that You Have To Be “Perfect”

A few weeks back I asked you ladies a question: what triggers comparison and why are you holding yourself to this false idea of being “perfect”? I also asked you to share in what areas of your life do you feel the need to be “perfect.”

Here’s what you said:

– In people’s view of my walk with God.
– My relationships. I try to be there for everyone and it’s exhausting.
– Eating and I feel bad if I start eating unhealthy and then it goes farther than I intended.
– As a wife, serving my husband. Not that he demands it, by any means. I just feel that he deserves the best.
– The house.
– I’m triggered by feelings of failure or letting others down in homemaking and motherhood.
– Unspoken expectation in leadership. Also- motherhood.
– Staying on top of daily chores: laundry, kitchen, cleaning.
– Being a mom.
– When somebody is arrogant/ prideful and I am in a low self confidence place.
– As an enneagram 1 I fight the need for perfection in all areas. Learning to give myself grace is CONSTANT.
– Eating and my home being put together.
– My clothes fitting tighter. I know it shouldn’t matter but that’s always what gets me.
– Time management.
– Motherhood whether it be nutrition or more non screen time activities.
– Trigger: too much social media.
– Trigger: Not immediately being good at something.

As I read through these responses, I found myself nodding and agreeing because GIRLS…I HAVE BEEN THERE! So many of the things you shared I have struggled with and God has worked in so many ways on me. Though I still struggle to fight comparison and chase perfection, I now have a game plan.

Here are the things I have personally found that have been GAME CHANGERS in fighting the need to compare or chase perfection:

1) Recognizing that we don’t have to be perfect or strive for perfection because our hope is in our Perfector.

In 2 Samuel 24 we find David trying to build his own kingdom. He knew the truth but he wanted control and something to pride himself on. He wanted a metric.

We sin in a similar way when we place our security in things of this world. We all have things we can boast about. Maybe it’s your house, your athletic ability, your looks, your following on social media, your sales numbers, the business knowledge you have, or your degrees. Whatever you put next to your name as your “gains” does not compare to the matchless riches that are found in Christ Jesus. (Phillipians 4:19)

In and of our flesh we are success driven. And while success isn’t bad, it can distract us from the mission of God, because only God is the prize. Philippians 3:12-16 reminds us that the prize of life is heavenward.

David was a man after God’s own heart, yet he still sinned. (1 Samuel 13:14, Acts 13:22) Girls, we are going to make mistakes, we are going to have moments of being self focused, BUT that doesn’t mean we have to stay stuck there! The difference in David is that he felt conviction for his sin, called it what it was and turned from it.

Two things he asked God to do that stuck out to me were:

“Do not let me fall into human hands”
“Take away the guilt of your servant”

David wanted more of Jesus. He wanted to honor Him. He knew and recognized his hurts and hang ups and asked God to not let him fall into guilt or chasing human success.

2) Letting go of the culture’s definition of a “perfect” mom, wife, business owner, etc., and focusing on Biblical Womanhood and being more like Jesus.

When we focus on chasing Jesus and pursuing Him > everything, the other things will fall into place. Remember- God’s promise isn’t that our lives will be perfect, He simply promises to be our sustainer.

3) Knowing that triggers will inevitably come BUT if we are spending intimate time with the Lord and putting on our armor we will slowly, over time, become better equipped in handling them.

This is why pursuing GROWTH in our walk with the Lord and learning how to face the triggers or avoid them all together, is so important.

Praying that God uses these tips to encourage you sister!

Caroline Foster



February 5, 2021

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